Or, more accurately: what I've actually worn to fetish clubs and kink events in Berlin.
There is no single dress code for Berlin's fetish scene. Some parties are very specific about what you can wear, while others leave you almost completely free to create your own look.
Here are some things I've learned from going to fetish clubs and kinky parties in Berlin - and some of the outfits I've actually worn along the way.
First: check the dress code
Sounds obvious right? And so many people forget this...
Many fetish clubs and kinky parties don't allow ordinary streetwear. Depending on the event, that can mean no everyday clothes, no plain cotton underwear and quite often no (white) trainers.
But fetish doesn't necessarily mean black leather. Latex, rubber, bondage, sportswear, puppies, uniforms, DIY outfits and more experimental looks can all work — depending on the party.
And you don't necessarily have to stick to black either. Some of the most interesting outfits I've seen in Berlin are colourful, weird, playful or completely homemade.
The important thing is that you feel sexy and comfortable in what you're wearing. If you feel like you have to dress up as someone you're not just to get through the door, the party might simply not be for you.
Some parties are much stricter than others. For example, a latex fetish event may require latex specifically, and you'll need to check whether other rubber materials are accepted. Sex-positive parties such as House of Lunacy at Club Renate can also have very specific outfit themes.
So what do I actually wear?
Quite a lot depends on the party.
Kitkat’s regular clubnight (CarneBall Bizarre)
An old-time favourite calls for one of my favorite outfits. Black top and skirt, look like leather but completely made of upcycled bike tubes. I’ve added a lot of spicy details to make the look a little more interesting.
Fourplay at KitKat
Fourplay is one of my favourite parties. The crowd tends to be more colourful and creative, so I like adding a little colour to my outfit rather than going for an entirely black look.
Torture Garden
For Torture Garden, I wanted to look like a torturer — so I went for my After the Fall skirt and biceps cuff with valves.
Not necessarily the easiest outfit when you're surrounded by people in expensive latex, but I managed to get through the night without accidentally ripping anyone.
Prncptl
The No Show Skirt is one of my favourites for a kinky event because you can simply turn it around depending on what you want to show — or hide.
It doesn't hide much either way, which makes it particularly well suited to events where being a little more revealing is part of the fun.
Dark techno nights
For darker techno clubs like Berghain, I often end up wearing some of my black rubber pieces. They work surprisingly well with the darker, more industrial aesthetic and you’re not necessarily wearing a full fetish outfit.
You don't need a completely new wardrobe
You don't necessarily need a completely different outfit for every event.
Sometimes changing one piece is enough to create a completely different look. A harness, collar, skirt or statement shoulder piece can completely change an otherwise simple outfit.
That's actually one of the reasons I like making modular and versatile pieces: you can adapt them to the party, your mood and how much — or how little — you want to show.
The best fetish outfit is usually the one that still feels like you.